Five ways to help you

in discovering

your child’s primary love language

 

1. Watch how your child expresses love to you
2. How they express love to others
3. Listen to what you child requests most often from you
4. Pay attention to what they complain the most about
5. Give you child a choice between 2 options



Number 4 in the list is interesting

You can also learn from the negatives spoken by your child. 

“You’re always spending time with the baby.”  “We never get to do anything together anymore.” 

Yes, a new baby takes up your attention and your child is frustrated.  Spend your time assuming they should see that you’re busy; you really do have to change that smelly diaper or feed the baby and their love tank will start to go dry.  They are requesting Quality Time, which may be a primary love language. 

Here’s a Guage for This

Children complain and their complaints are usually related to something they want now.  If the complaining falls into a pattern and more than half the complaints are pointing toward one love language….this is an indicator that their primary love language is being missed terribly.  If you’re hearing a lot about ‘that baby taking up your attention’, your child’s primary love language is Quality Time. 

For a further explanation of #5

In the above list, the choices would represent a choice between two of the love languages.  “Would you like to have me work on your new dress or we can read a story together tonight.”  You’d have an Acts of Service and Quality Time choice.  After putting quite a few of these choices together with your child, you’d discover they have a leaning toward one or two over all the others.  You’re looking for the primary love language which you’ll want to invest in heavily with your child.  I’m not saying neglect all the others, but the primary love language fills their love tank…and very nicely!

5 Love Languages Testings Link

And then there’s the 5 love languages testings.  You’ll have a lot of fun playing with this link, as it has husbands, wives, singles, children,  and teens testings available to discover anyone’s love languages.   Remember, just when you think you’ve pegged your child, they can change their love languages all the way up and through the teen years. 

Have you started speaking your child’s love language yet?  Leave your comments to help our community of readers. 

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