Motherhood Can be Crazy!
Motherhood is awesome. But it can be a wild ride, too! I recently gave birth to my fourth little one a couple of months ago, and let me tell you (if you don’t already know) that having one’s attention divided four ways can be enough to make a person go batty. But just because motherhood can be crazy, doesn’t mean MOM has to be!
Personality Types and Motherhood
What I’m about to share may be something you already do. A no-brainer for some- it took me finding out my Myers-Briggs personality type to realize how much I needed this as a mom (INTP, in case you’re wondering). One statement that I read from a description of my own personal mothering style stuck with me:
“The INTP mother can benefit from setting aside regular times when she can turn inward and lose herself in reading, thought, or work. Energized by time alone to think, her ‘mind time’ is a necessity, not a luxury.”
Find Time for Self Care
Wow! Naturally, I wondered how I could get that. My husband works long, long hours throughout the week, followed by time in ministry, as well as other goals that he is currently pursuing. As a stay at home mom, I’m frequently A-L-O-N-E with my children all day long. Did I mention that we homeschool? Plus, with a new baby in the house, getting up early or going to bed late just isn’t happening right now!
Even if you are not an introvert like I am, this tip can still help you, so stay with me!
I remembered reading what some other moms do…sending their children to their rooms at regular times every day. This was just one area where I always felt I was lacking discipline. (If you read the description, one of the weaknesses of this type is that creating routines for the family can be an overwhelming task!) But the fact that time to think was not a luxury, but a need motivated me to give it a try.
One afternoon, I was feeling quite frazzled, and I knew that enough was enough. I explained to my older children that I wanted them to spend some time in their rooms for a bit. It’s not a punishment, but everyone needed a change of scenery. Normally, my children balk at being “sent to their room”. I realized this was because they felt they would be in there indefinitely. I told my son to set a timer for 45 minutes. He was much more cooperative when he realized that he was able to come out of his room after a set period of time.
But We’re Bored!
If your children are hesitant to play in their rooms (like mine sometimes are), make age-appropriate suggestions for what they can do to stay occupied. Here are some suggestions for school-aged children and younger (most of these are activities my children have engaged in when it’s quiet time):
- Play with blocks
- Build train tracks
- Play with cars
- Imaginative play with plush toys
- Read a book
A Chance to Nurture Myself
I still had my newborn with me, but she was nursing, so it wasn’t time that I was overly occupied with her. I ended up watching some documentary or something that time, but other times, I’ve read a chapter or two in a book, listened to a podcast, or worked on something on the computer.
If “mind time” isn’t something that you particularly need, you might use this time to call a friend to chat (an uninterrupted phone call?!), spend some time reading your Bible, or give yourself a manicure or pedicure while watching a movie or listening to music. The point is to do something to care for yourself- and when the children re-emerge you will feel refreshed and able to parent as your best self.
Do you already have a regular “room time” for your children? How do you find time to nurture yourself throughout the day?
Becky is a wife of eight years and stay at home mom to four young children. She aspires to encourage women in Biblical truth on her blog, Happy Christian Home