Everyone is Consistent in Something

It might be a positive consistency or negative consistency, but we all know how to be consistent. When we think of things that we call ‘hard to do’, we find that our positive consistency is pretty well shot. So what about that negative consistency?   How about that declaration to get involved in exercise? Or the diet that you’re going to start after you polish off the chocolates from Valentine’s Day? And nothing changes, as you are negatively consistent.  Right?

What About ‘Follow Through?

Think of telling your child the first time to put down the toy and come inside for dinner.  How many times after that until your child really believes you and comes to the table?  You are consistent in either a positive or a negative way.  The negatively consistent way is still calling them to the table, but louder and angrier.  Your children are consistently conditioned to respond to your anger and loud voice.  The positive consistent response to your child not obeying would be to call once, then get up and follow through with enforcing your telling them to come to the table.  I found the hardest thing as a young parent was the ‘follow through’.…getting up after telling them to do something and they don’t obey.

“In the consistency lies the answer”

That’s a quote from Gloria Copeland. You’re wondering why your child isn’t listening to your loud angry voice pitch or arm waving? Have you been ignoring the right direction because you are consistently just ‘wanting’ a change but doing nothing about ‘changing’?  In our home, I used to give what I called, ‘the snake eyes’…an evil brow-furrowed glare. What did my young son take away from this?  He’s great at the ‘the snake eyes’.. evil brow-furrowed glare.  Great teaching tool?  Not!

But I REALLY Want To Change!

You’ll find that just wanting is not comparable to doing. Make a point of only telling your child one time what you expect, and then follow through on the consistency after they’ve used up the time you’ve given them to respond. 

Get up and claim your position again as the parent. It will take time before they believe ‘the new response’ that you’re giving them.  In the consistency lies the answer.