Contracts, Keeping your word, and Age limitations….

What do they all have in common?  I’ll begin with my personal example as a twelve year old,  five years older than my little sister.  She wanted money to be able to afford something at J.J. Newberry for herself and we were shopping without parents. (It was a time when you could feel safe letting your children go shopping together without adults.)   I let her borrow my money (she was very convincing), and when we came home I had her sign an autograph book stating she owed me.  It was a small amount, but she had been not paying me back.  This time would be different.  She signed and I felt secure.  Little did I know that she would once again stiff me.  My parents would not back me up on the contract.  They said she was too young and it was an invalid contract as they did not okay it. 

I had found that you will always need authority behind you when you have decided to create a contract with someone.  A contract is a written statement between two parties that states ‘what you will or will not do;.  It’s an offer, acceptance and execution. 

The Strong-Willed Child

If you have a child (or grandchild) that is strong-willed, very intelligent and always looking for ‘an angle’ to get what they want’, this may work for you.

There are times that you make a point of telling your children that you will this if they will do that.  You’ve made a verbal contract, they accept, but how is it executed?  In some cases the children don’t fulfill their part and in other cases you don’t fulfill your part.  Then there is the poor memory ingredient.  I am a firm believer that if you cannot come through on a promise, then never give that promise….keeping your word is important!  Many a child has grown up with these words, “Never promise something you cannot deliver”.   Others hear, “Your word needs to be good…keep your word!”

The children are home all summer and you may be looking for ways to motivate them. 

Make the Contract Understandable

Make up a completely understandable contract between parent and child, then put it down on paper.  It can be a very beneficial learning experience. 

• Give them a goal to reach in the contract, but make sure it’s attainable. 
• Sit down with them to write up the contract and sign it if they agree (or let them think about it overnight). 
• Make it a short term contract that can be achieved this summer. 
• Never promise something that you cannot deliver on if they complete their end of the contract. 
• Need arbitration?  Ask a grandparent to be the judge.

Try a book reading contract

 (something you want to see happen that benefits the child).  At the end of reading all the books necessary (name an amount to read) to complete the contract (time limit) they can take a friend to a movie, have treats afterwords and maybe a sleepover.  Be sure to put all the details into the contract.

*Note that if this is what you will sign for in the contract, you will be taking them back and forth to the library and checking to see if they are really reading the books (talk about the book with them).  Then you may be taking them to the movie, having treats with them and they’ll be whooping it up at night into the wee hours of the morning.

Have you tried a contract with your child?  What age were they?