Does Your Child Cheat In School
What about cheating?
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Parental responses to this situation
Your first grader is caught copying their neighbor’s paper during a test. The teacher gives a failing mark, so what should you do now that you know what happened? This was a question posed to four parents with varying answers:
“Approach the teacher to know how to help my child and then punish the child”.
“The Teacher should have spoken with my child before giving the failing grade. Then I would talk with my child about how it’s wrong to copy, and it’s more important to learn”.
“A test is given to see how well the teacher is teaching and how much my child understands”.
“Accept the failing grade and talk with my child about consequences”.
What’s your child’s objective in school?
Is it possible your child had the idea that to ‘win the good grade’ was the most important objective?
From an early age children are more focused on succeeding than learning. Look at how they play games and compete. They want to win a good grade for prestige, teacher, classmates and parental admiration, and just plain ‘winning’.
Talk with your child first, before any disciplining
- Find out why they looked at their neighbor’s paper. It could have been to know what to do or a fear of not ‘getting the answer right’.
- Sit down with your child..this is your time to teach. Cover ‘why they take tests’ and integrity.
- Discuss how copying someone else’s answers doesn’t give the teacher a chance to help you because they’re not your answers.
| Children are honest until they know telling the truth gets them in trouble |
- If there is discipline, keep it in perspective.
Something you need to know
When they’re honest with you, encourage them to be listening to the ‘inside voice’ that prompts them to tell the truth. Be careful not to impress them with the fact that if they cheat they’ll be caught or worse yet, you will punish them severely when you find out what happened. You won’t always be around to direct them with threats, but if you promote that inward conscience by having them listen and obey it, they’ll take away a life lesson.
Can you help your child to listen to their conscience? Should all punishments be the same with each child? Leave your ‘intelligent thoughts’ for us here!
I absolutely don't think that all punishments should be the same for every child. A discussion should be had with the parents, the child, the teacher, and possibly the principal. When you confront a child, you can tell if they were flippant and didn't care about getting caught, or if they were scared and are truly repentant for what they did.
I discuss right and wrong with my kids every day. We're always talking about how to handle certain situations, and cheating was the topic just recently. I know my kids are human, and I won't say that they'll never cheat, but I hope that if they do, they get caught and proper punishment is enforced.
That's my 2 cents. 🙂
I havent had the dicussion with any of my children. Although, someone wanted her to cheat on her Physics test in High School the other day and she flat out denied and gladly took the F instead. She knows it isnt getting her anywhere if she doesnt understand the subject. My child is an A-B student, she works hard. Her GPA means a lot to her but I was glad to know her conscience meant more! NOW- I still need to talk to the YOUNGER two…
Children should never be punished. It is not their fault that they are born to a twisted world where profiting and efficiency matters. Instead, listen to your children. You might learn something.
Maybe we all should find our inner child inside of us.
I didn't cheat until I got into high school. I think it was due to laziness and not being prepared for the lesson. In grade school, my parents made me study so it was no reason to cheat. I would cringe if I was told my daughter was/had cheated. I think parents should equip their children with the skills needed to succeed.
Malastal,
Children need to be trained and directed to come to the right decisions. Perhaps a better word that would translate well would be to 'correct' them…and correct them according to their personality.
Mindy,
Your daughter is wise. Wisdom is not something a child 'just falls into' one day. Wisdom needs to be taught and it seems your daughter has been taught well.
And thank you for the compliment on ceramics I make. I appreciate it!
Princess Zaria,
Equipping your child with the skills they need to succeed begins with a good foundation. As your child grows older, that foundation is not a guarantee, but a starting point.
They will be making choices apart from their parents and will either reap success or reap failure. Not all children are equipped equally, but we can do the best possible for ours.
A great reminder and insight! I love your example about the dog and glue! Haha
CK
I'm very grateful the dog and glue never came up in my life. But there was one time a 'found' tube of dark makeup in a young one's pocket was washed with the husband's nice expensive work shirts.
Then the same child picked up a dead smelt (small fish) on the way to the school bus, showed it around and promptly left it in his jacket pocket. The weather changed so dramatically after that, he was able to not use that coat which sat in the closet for weeks. When I searched for the 'smell' I was thrusting my hand into all pockets…and into the decomposed body of the fish. Wish you could have seen my face and heard the screams.
I cheated once and only once.
I was in the first grade and it was an easy spelling test. The word was OF, I couldn't for the life of me remember if it was off, or ov. I glanced over at my friends paper and immediately felt so stupid! I went home and told my mother, she explained that the reason I felt stupid was that's what happens when you cheat.
Miss her.
Blessed Rain,
You had a wise mother, especially when she saw all you needed was an explanation. She taught you well!