Special Ed Week:A Mom Speaks Out
This is Special Ed Week
and Cathy Kreiser is my guest poster giving her story of their son and his special needs.
Cathy’s Kreiser’s Story
“I don’t know if I can do justice to this important subject… I didn’t want to, because I am not a professional… just a mom. But, I do realize that so much of the reason why things are as challenging as they are is because of a lack of education… both of the children with special needs and the parents of special needs children.
We have all the hopes, dreams and desires for our special needs child
that any other parent would have. When there is little to nothing that can be done in the natural (Medical Community), and the future portrayed for your child is quite substandard, there is a pain in your heart that threatens to never go away. I remember when a doctor told me that my baby was just like his daughter, and that he would never know me, and that it would just be better if we would have him institutionalized and get on with our lives. If it were not for my Lord, I would have lost hope, but “With Him all things are possible to them that believe”, and we continue on.
All parents want to hear how cute, sweet, precious their new little one is. I remember taking my new little bundle of joy to church and a lady bounding up to me after service, saying, “Oh Cathy, I haven’t gotten to see your baby yet.” Then she took one look and cried out, “Oh my God! No!!”… as if he were a monster or something to be despised. She then turned and ran out of the church and didn’t speak to me again for years. Well, that didn’t bless me. We need to surround new parents with special needs children with faith and love. That little one is still precious and valuable… if you don’t think so ask Jesus. It says in Eph 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” By speaking encouraging words, we can minister grace to the hearts of those parents of special needs children. Most people don’t know what to say so they ignore them, well, that is hurtful too. Do you like to be ignored?
I lost my friends
Many friends told me of all that we would do once my little one was here. But, after his birth and word spread… not one call. My calls were not answered or returned. Some of them even left the church. It was a very lonely time.
I remember doing all the physical therapy exercises with my little one to teach him to sit up, something that is usually taken for grant it. But, we worked everyday, over and over again, day after day, week after week and month after month. I remember at one-year-old when he finally sat up by himself. I was on cloud nine. But, to others it was a dismal failure.
All the times when people would test him to see what he could do. I just want to scream, “Stop, just love him and play with him”. No one wants to be continually tested to see if they measure up. No, these little ones deserve our love, devotion and respect.
Don’t do everything for your special needs child
These little ones spirits are alive unto God. Their minds are active and receiving, their bodies are affected in some manner. There brain may be affected, but their mind (the Bible says the spirit of the mind) is intact. We understood this and kept teaching him as if he understood, because we knew that his mind was not his brain, and his mind was functioning through his brain, but his mind was getting it. I Thess. 5:23, Eph. 4:23,
II Tim. 1:7.
At three months old our little one failed all three auditory tests on his left ear. The audiologist referred us to a specialist. We kept praying and speaking the Word over him. When the specialist appointment came we requested a second testing, of which they didn’t want to do because there was no way that there could be a change since they already had the results of the previous tests. After much persuasion they did retest him and he was and is hearing perfectly now. How encouraging the Lord is.”
Cathy Kreiser’s story is continued in the next posting. She speaks of more healings that took place in their son that she would like to share with the readers. Her son’s Occupational Therapist friend, Missy Newcomer, writes some information that is also helpful.
Leave your comments on this blog to support other parents with special needs children.
What a great post. God bless you for writing. As the Mom-Mom of a very special little guy I must agree with you as far as letting these kids do for themselves. Sometimes parents are just so busy with work and home and siblings that it is just so much easier to feed him instead of 'waiting' for him to feed himself. The waiting is so worth it and a special joy comes with each newly learned task.
If you lost your friends they were not your friends. Make new ones. Make friends of other parents with a special needs child especially the ones that are just getting the news. Treat them the way you wish you were treated.
Doreen,
Yes… it is always faster and easier,to do things ourselves, but that is not training, not helping them to grow and be all that they need to be to become independent.
This is something that you have to stay on top of if they go to school or others homes (even family). Sometimes well meaning paras/teachers feed them, toilet them, either because of the time frame or they think they can't because they aren't quick. I remember John Michael's first day of school, when he came home I sent him into the bathroom. He just stood and stood in front of the toilet waiting for me to pull down his pants… they may not tell you what was done, but this isn't rocket science!!
Friends… well, many times you just don't know until something major happens that reveals what is really there!! I don't blame or have hard feelings about this, but I do understand that we all need to grow in areas. God help us all to grow in genuine love for one another.
God bless you and your precious family,
Cathy
Doreen,
This is Donna. Thanks for responding to Cathy's story. I've sent your comment to her. It's awesome that she was willing to share her personal thoughts on the subject of special needs. Thank you for encouraging her by leaving your comment!
Cathy is hoping that what she tells in the two part story is educational and encouraging for other parents of special needs kids and the public in general.