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Donna Perugini Children's Author

The 5 Love Languages of Children

My books www.DonnaPerugini.com

Maybe you’ve heard about the love languages. 

It sounds like something steamy, but love languages are actually your best way to understand and respond to people in your life. 

Let’s break that down to something more personal…it’s your best way to understand and respond to your child .  It’s also how you train your child to know how to respond to and understand those around them. The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, MD. 

This is the basics that we’ll be covering in the next few postings.  If you ever wanted to build a foundation to understanding this concept, here’s your opportunity.

There are five love languages:

  1. Physical Touch
  2. Words of Affirmation
  3. Quality Time
  4. Gifts
  5. Acts of Service

We all speak these languages.  Learning to speak them with our children is important, but discovering your child’s love language is crucial.  Children don’t come with a manual for training, so we’ll be searching through ways to find their language.  Beyond learning their language, we need to teach them how to respond to people in their lives.  Yes, you can show them how.

It Takes Time

Watch your child receive and express love in various ways:  with you, with their friends, cousins, grandparents.   They might like giving by making drawings for people.  These children would be acting in their love language in giving or Gifts.   Then there are children who will help others doing chores.  Unheard of you say?  Read about Ben, the Amazing Grandson!  He could be expressing a language of Acts of Service.  Other children  may tell you how much they love you and what great cookies you just made for them.   This is the language of Words of Affirmation.  They don’t just do these things once in a while, these acts are sprinkled throughout their lives and they love to do them.

Love languages can change as they grow older

Since children are growing and changing all the time, their love language changes a little too.  Keep looking for where they are in the present situation and respond to them that way.  When you see  they are giving out a love language, then you can reach them with that same language. 

Using their love language in a negative way

They’ll be using one in particular and when that one is used in a negative way, they feel very hurt.  As in the language of Words of Affirmation, if you call them a negative name, they are deeply wounded.  They’ll close up like a flower and it will be a while before they’re willing to open up to whomever spoke the negative, non-affirming  words to them. 

This is just a sampling of how you can learn to reach your child.  All the love languages will be explained further, so keep coming back.   You can do this!  You can learn what your child’s love language is and reach them more positively and deeply. 

Do you think you might know their language?  Would you like to equip them for their future relationships?  Love to hear your comments! 

Spread the word to your friends….click the ‘Like’ button  below to reach them in Facebook.

8 Responses to “The 5 Love Languages of Children”

  1. 1
    Claire says:

    ‘Keep looking for where they are in the present situation and respond to them that way.’

    Great words of advice Donna, although not always easy to do! I really try to do that on a daily basis and want to make it a habit. Loved this article.
    Claire recently posted..Am I an Over Protective MotherMy Profile

    • 1.1

      True, it’s not always easy to do. It’s wonderful you want to make a habit of the love languages on a daily basis.

      As long as we let our children know they are loved, no matter what they do or do not do, they will respond to your unconditional love. Everything we do with and for our children is based on this.

      Your link to your posting “Am I an Over Protective Mother” sounds interesting…I’ll be checking it out!

  2. 2
    CK says:

    Oh! This is SUCH a good resource when working with kids. Some children respond to different “love langugages”, I have notice and sometimes it is good to review this list and see if there is another way you can reach out to your child. I think I am going to go read a book to my baby right now!
    Thanks!!!
    -CK

    • 2.1

      Excellent idea, CK. If what you’re trying is not working, going back to check the 5 love languages list reminds you of even more choices on how to reach your child.

      Check back for more postings on this subject. Find out what the unconditional love foundation is all about.

  3. 3

    We have 2 of our kids mapped out but are trying to figure out the 2 littlest ones!
    Sarita Edgerton recently posted..SorryMy Profile

    • 3.1

      Sarita,
      You must be very good at speaking the love languages your two eldest children speak by now. You’ll be very practiced for the two younger ones.

      The one take-away I got from the book was we need to use all 5 love languages with everyone and most adults only use 2.

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