1st book in the ‘Orville Series’ The Flight of Orville Wright Caterpillar by Donna Perugini

Let me tell you about confidence!

As I was growing up, I seriously lacked confidence.  When I wanted a cookie from my grandmother, I’d send my little sister to ask for me.  If people called on me to speak, I’d wish I had a paper bag over my head!

Having no college education and being a stay at home mom kept me away from people. When my husband’s job took us to Ann Arbor, Michigan, the lack of confidence was overwhelming me. My favorite saying was, “Unless you say you’re a brain surgeon in this town, you won’t be accepted as worthwhile by anyone.” It was pretty close to the truth as education ruled and reigned. Ann Arbor had the University of Michigan which caused a huge influx of educated people everywhere.

I Want to Write Children’s Books

I was pregnant with my third child in Ann Arbor when I became a Christian and really came alive to God! I remember standing at a party talking with someone and instead of giving my favorite quote, I responded to their question, “What do you want to do in the future?” with, “I want to write children’s books“. When I said that, I knew it came from a ‘different place’ inside me. It was just a few years later that it came to pass.

Writing For Children..How Did I Get There

I wrote stories for the Children’s Church classes I taught. Whether there were 4 or 14 children there, I still wanted to give them the best I had. One story in particular stood out and I was encouraged to send it to a publisher. Did I still have no confidence? It had been growing since becoming saved. (For an in depth writing about being published, read my previous blog post, Dream Big..Step Forward). I was seeing that I could have confidence in God’s abilities, not just mine. Even if someone had the best education and people looking up to them with admiration, God is the One Who promotes. He’s the One Who directs my path. He thinks I’m fabulous! How many people have you ever heard of that did not query once before submitting a manuscript that was accepted for publishing? How many people do you know that had someone like Joyce Meyer use their book (Don’t Hug a Grudge), in total, for their teaching?  (Bitterness, Resentment and Unforgiveness by Joyce Meyer)   It wasn’t a knowledge of manuscripts or querying that got me there. It wasn’t my credentials regarding writing abilities.

In God We Trust?

Now let me brag up on God! He put those books out through me to advance His Word. It’s His Word that changes lives, that brings completion to people and confidence to a ‘no confidence’ girl. I just played a part by putting one foot in front of the other, trusting in Him,relying on, and adhering to a good God that does not let you down or cast you aside. Education and background are good, but not the ‘end all’. We all have challenges, but God is not surprised by them. He’s got a plan for everything and it’s a plan for good, not for evil. I’m so glad He found me first and then I found Him! This is called ‘encouraging myself in the Lord’. It’s all about ‘my’ response to Him. Do I trust Him, or rely on me? Do I say I trust Him and then go out and push for my own agenda? Always go back to your ‘first Love’.

Confidence in Who Not What

Am I confident now? I’m confident in Him, relying on Him and leaning not to my own understanding. I’m leaning on Him as He makes my path straight!  Do I get queasy when I have to fill in an education background form?  Sure, but I choose to respond to Him and not the wrong thoughts pushing to gain a foothold.  

If you’re feeling like you can’t ‘do’ anything of value or consequence in this world, then you haven’t found or noticed His plan for you. He has already made you valuable and a blessing to this world. What’s important now is your response to Him….

Do you have feelings of no confidence? What have you done about them? Can you honestly say you believe He is directing your path? Love your comments!

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